loneliness

Cole being gone is perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. The second time saying good bye to him was sooo much easier than the first. Worst part is that he left on Monday and up until Friday night I hadn't cried at all since he had left, then it comes out and decides I had waited maybe too long to cry. So the week went fine, then the weekend came along, and it wasn't so good any more :( it's hardest knowing that my best friend isn't physically here for me when I need him most. But I guess that goes along with if he was here I wouldn't be having such a hard time, right? Some times I really wonder what it is I got myself into when I said I was okay with him going into the military. I miss him more than I ever thought it was possible to miss anyone. That saying that your heart grows fonder with distance, or what ever the saying is...is absolutely true. I never quite realized the reality to it until recently. It's hard knowing that at work, you can be totally fine and happy and accepting of what's happened, then you get home and the alone-ness gets filled in its place.
I know that he is doing all of this for our family, but sometimes it is rather hard to think that way and just be fine with everything. Times like these that I would want nothing more than a fastforward button to move past these hard times. Every time i think of it I think of the movie "the Click" and how it just began to know him and would fast forward past things that he wished he hadn't in the first place...I'm learning a lot about myself, and LOVE living alone, but there are those times when you absolutely wish there was something else you could do to get away from coming back. It's not to say I don't appreciate what he is doing for us, just especially difficult right now...why? I REALLY wish I knew the answer to that right about now. I just miss him so much :(

long time

So I keep being told by a number of different people to update my blog and that I was going to get bugged about it until I did...so here goes.
   We got accepted into the Army and are now just waiting to find out when he will leave. Sadly enough, I can't go for quite some time. Needless to say that means I will be alone for a few months. As scared as I am about this, it's the only way we can see it possible for me to stay home with the little one's. Which is really my life long dream, so when that does happen, no more work for me! Cole hasn't decided what he will go into quite yet. It used to be to be a pilot, but having talked to some of them he has decided it isn't the right field for him. Of which I am okay with. All I want for him is to be happy, and if flying is it for his fun time than so be it.  Regardless of what he chooses I know that it will be for the good of both of us. I love him so much and can't wait to start our family of ours. Of which I am still trying to convince him to do now, but as you can see, that is to no avail. He thinks we need to wait (which is actually probably better.)
   Isn't it true that us girls tend to over think things and think with our emotions more so than our head? This is a big challenge to over come, but I think that I think too much with my emotions, and he thinks too much with his head. But that just means that together we attempt to balance each other out. As much as a struggle it might be for now, I know we made the right decision, now we just need to learn to live together with out...getting on each others nerves, even if that is a bad way of saying it....it takes a lot of adjusting to, we just have to learn to do it is all. In the end I know that we will be happy, we wouldn't have married each other if we didn't feel it was right...besides we have covenants to each other along with the most important being in this life and those to come.  :)

at last....more pictures :)

One of the greatest days of my life, to not only be married, but to do it in the temple with my best friend! We were able to have some of our family and friends there, and was definitely a cherished moment for both of us...hopefully :) We couldn't be happier than we were that day, although we are enjoying the married life! I can't say that I would really want to go through all that again...took way too much work to do it the right way the first time :) well worth it, but still!

Our wedding! :)

It's official!!!!! We are all married, and have been for a little while...the sealing was amazing and has blessed us in more ways than I ever thought possible.  We are so happy together and excited to start our live's together. The wedding day I had hoped for snow, but that didn't end up working out. In some of the pictures (yet to be posted) there is snow in them.  In most of them though you can't quite see it. The day turned out to be beautiful, awesome blue skys! Which is a good freakin thing cause I was starting to freeze as we got more and more pictures taken. All in all we have over 900 pictures to choose from, so it will be a challenge to pick the ones that we want to have framed though for sure. I know that I would LOVE for this one to be put in a frame, but I'm not so sure my husband would agree with that one...I completely fell in love with it :)

wedding story

Cole and I have decided to get married on February 26, 2010 in the Draper Temple. Although there is a bit of a story to go along with the date and the temple that was chosen.

The first temple that we went to together happened to be the Draper Temple when they had the open house for it. When we were deciding on what Temple to get married in this was Cole's first pick. Mine was the Bountiful Temple just because of how much I love that one. After I talked to Cole about it, we decided I would take out my endowments at the Draper Temple and then do the sealing in the Bountiful Temple. So we decided on February 26 because I wasn't baptized until the 22nd of February. Well I went to call the Bountiful Temple to reserve the date, and they were closed that day :( I didn't want to wait any longer to be married to him, so I called the Draper Temple and reserved that one instead just to give Cole a little surprise. So I texted him and told him he won by default and that we would be married in the Draper Temple instead. Looking back though I am kind of glad just because that one means more to both of us than just a random temple instead. I cannot wait to be married to my best friend for time and all eternity, I could not have ever dreamed of a better husband than the one I will be getting in just a little while. He is an amazing person, and I love him more than I ever even thought possible to love anyone :)

proposal

Cole's mission president owns a jewelry shop in Las Vegas, Nevada. So I knew that when Cole did finally decide to get a ring that's where he would go. At this tim, Cole was living in Idaho, as I was still living in Taylorsville. My cousins were supposed to be getting married September 12 in Denver, Colorado. I was all set to go when we realized there was no way I was going to make the flight, so I ended up missing it just because of that. So when I text Cole and told him he asked if I wanted to go to Las Vegas with him, his parents, and his grandparents. (they were already going since it was his grandma's 80th birthday and wanted to watch Donnie and Marie) Of course I jumped at the opportunity, so they came to get me that Friday night.
When we got to Vegas nothing really happened that night except for dinner really. The next morning he and his dad went to the jewelry shop while I stayed in the hotel with his mom. After hours of waiting, they were finally done. So that day we went shopping at the outlet malls and just kind of hung out. That was the night everyone else was going to see Donnie and Marie. The whole time Cole and I had been dating I kept telling him how I wanted to see Cirque De Soleil. So we decided that that night we would just walk the strip and have a fun night. Well he had tickets to go see Cirque De Soleil, and when I realized that's what we were doing I got all sorts of excited. So after the show ended I told him if there is one thing I've always wanted to do while in Vegas it was the water show at the Bellagio. But he kept telling me it isn't that great, but that he would watch it if we could go to the top of the mock eiffel tower. I've been to the real one so I was kinda like, ugh if we have too, but it really won't be that cool to me. Surprise surprise, we were in the elevator to get to the top, and the water show started. I told Cole we were going to wait up there until the next one started so I could see it. Well he got bored and asked if we could head down, so I said fine. Low and behold the stupid water show started AGAIN, I missed it for the second time in ONE night! As we were headed down, I said okay that's it, we are going to wait there until I see the whole show! Then as we got off the elevator and got out of the hotel, it started again, at htis point we were across the street, so he said that we would just wait there until the next show started. This was now the fourth time that I had missed it. We finally got across the street and I stood there until the next show started, Cole was standing behind me and we were just talking. Finally the show started and I turned around to watch it and Cole told me he loved me, said he always has and he always will, and put the ring in front of me. I got so excited I turned around and was just so happy! To this day I still have not seen the whole show! but I must say it was totally worth it :)

our dating history

Cole and I met on Facebook in December of 2008 with a silly little app. We started emailing, then in January is when we officially met. Our first date we went to Arbys and bowling, then to get ice cream later on. When we went bowling, there was a car outside the ally with the lights on it, so we went inside to get a lane and to be good samaritans and told the guy at the front desk that a car was outside with the lights on. Cole says the car was black, and I say the car was silver. To this day that is still a battle between the two of us. Truth be told, I've had lasik and there's a reason I'm not the pilot in this soon-to-be marriage.
He took me back to my house where he gave a little peck on the lips and that was that. Then he called me but 2 days later and said he had to take his friend to the airport and asked if it would be okay if he stopped by. (He was living in Provo, and I was in Taylorsville) So he did, and I was dressed in my pajamas already, and he was so sweet he still told me I was pretty even with those on.
Our third date was the most special to both of us. We went out for his friends birthday, which is when it was the first time he really kissed me. This is the night we both fell in love with eachother. This is the night we realized that what started out to be something casual turned into something spectacular. We never thought we would have made it this far.